I was born into the chaos of post-war East Germany. Despite facing rejection, abandonment, sexual abuse, a life-threatening illness, poverty, the stifling restrictions of an Islamic marriage and masterminding a daring escape, I still managed to reach my goals and achieve success and recognition. It was and still is, an exceptionally challenging journey, which initially inspired me to start writing. My book(s) are based on my own life experiences, making the story all the more compelling in the overarching positive messages it presents to other women. The candid portrayal of myself draws readers into my inner psyche, as I go through the very best and worst of life. My story proves that adversity and setbacks shape us into who we become. There is strength in learning through the experiences of others and if I can help just a few people breakthrough issues that appear insurmountable, then it is worth sharing my story, no matter how confronting. By facing every imaginable adversity and setback in my own life head-on, I am living proof that anything is possible through sheer hard work, focus and determination. Amongst my many achievements is reaching a place and status that allows me to devote myself to helping improve the lives of others.
My life story has inspired countless women and men to find their own inner strength. Many of my readers and seminar attendees state that my resilience has had a deep impact on their lives. Reading my book(s) assisted them to get through their own dark times, as it demonstrated to them that everything happens for a reason and has an important purpose. Hundreds of women from all around the world have written to say that my story inspired them to be courageous and true to themselves.
In the course of my professional life I worked with homeless and drug-addicted adolescents, prisoners including detainees in an immigration detention centre, abused and traumatised people from all walks of life, and I learned that there are too many people who are unhappy with their lives but are too scared to make changes or pursue what they really want. I say, never make excuses and take full responsibility for everything that happens in your life! I am always prepared to make changes and am not afraid to deal with the consequences. It is this mentality that is incredibly important to anyone’s personal growth.
Suffering abuse and trauma can obviously, if you let it, completely destroy one’s life. There were numerous times in my life when I was battling illness, feelings of isolation, mistreatment and depression, and I honestly didn’t see a reason for living, but eventually, I realised that I was allowing other people and what they did to me define who I was as a person. This is one of the most important lessons that I want my readers to learn – to make sure that your own mental and emotional wellbeing must always come first.
Whilst showing significant strength in order to live life on my own terms, I don’t hold back in showing the negative implications of making such a decision, and sometimes this forces me to hurt those closest to me. As a result, I have endured years of loneliness and poverty in order to reach my ultimate goal. I may have overcome any challenge that was thrown at me but that didn’t make me perfect. I am human and make mistakes as I battle the same problems and insecurities as everyone else, but my courage and intuition propel me towards reaching my ultimate goals.
Writing for over 15 years has become part of my ongoing commitment to helping others find meaning, happiness and strength of spirit in their own lives. A ﬁnalist in the ‘2011 International Book Awards’ and ‘2012 Readers Favorite Awards’, The Cuckoo’s Egg has affected many deeply. It made my readers laugh, cry and reﬂect on their own lives. The book resonated with anyone who, like me, is facing life’s battles, while searching for the meaning of it all. My award-nominated book(s) are currently out of print, but once republished with the new title SOUL POWER (part one, two, and three) they are set to remind readers of the importance of realising their own potential and following their dreams.
Healing Cancer Naturally!
Then, one day about two years ago, without any warning, I suddenly felt very ill, could hardly stand up, and eventually admitted myself to the hospital. The Emergency doctor could not find anything obvious, so into a huge CT scanner I went and came out with the devastating diagnosis of having terminal breast cancer that had spread to the lymph nodes and metastasised in the bones, especially the upper spine, lower spine, shoulders and pelvic area. “You have six to 12 months left to live. If you have the usual medical procedures (chemotherapy, etc.) you might make it to two years.” The night pains were the worst and very quickly they became a constant, only varying in strength in ever-changing areas. Eventually, I came to terms with the fact that in medical terms I had incurable, terminal cancer and that it was up to me to heal myself or die. You can imagine my devastation after eating an extremely healthy vegetarian diet and a sizeable amount of top-quality Chinese herbal supplements every day for the past 30 years. I felt relatively fit and healthy and looked well. An unwavering positive attitude and the pursuit of goals I had yet to achieve kept me mentally and emotionally in a good place. Naturally, at the age of 74, I had faced many serious and not so serious health issues. The more serious ones were a weak heart – I was born with a congenital heart defect, had a hip joint replacement, a total hysterectomy at age of 41 and the subsequent hormonal issues put me on a roller coaster that made life unbearable until Hormone Replacement Therapy finally saved me. Years later, I needed surgery to correct a bowel displacement (a problem caused by the hysterectomy), but nothing could stop me from living a full and active life while I supported my body by maintaining a very healthy lifestyle including daily meditations.
At the time after the cancer diagnosis, my meditations became deeper and more intense. The additional meditative healing sessions always began with the most beautiful kaleidoscope of colours and distant cosmic sounds followed by beams of brilliant White Light, cleansing and healing my body. I visualised the cancer cells dying and being flushed out by the Light until the inside of my body was in perfect condition. This experience filled me every time with a sense of peace that reflected my perception of bliss.
Over the following two weeks the pain in the thoracic area of my spine was radiating into the shoulders and arms and at times became so bad that it took my breath away; add shaking hands, dizziness, nausea, headaches and bad coordination. With a lot of willpower, I made it out of bed, very slowly and held on to things around me. However, the pain was simply unbearable and the movement of my upper body was so limited that once again I had to call an ambulance to get help at the hospital. I found the time I spent in the Emergency Department taxing, but special scans, ultrasounds, X-rays, blood tests, etc. needed to be done. The results were never good, in fact, they were so bad that I was simply sent home with a bag full of pain relievers of the nastiest but most effective kind because from a medical point of view nothing else could be done for me. The pain was simply insufferable and sometimes one has to fight the bad with the bad.
While at the hospital I was poked, pricked, nuked, scanned, and seriously pushed towards treatment by adamant oncologists, I steadily declined any kind of conventional treatment such as chemotherapy, etc. Instead, I pursued my own individual path to healing my body back to a life worth living. I was determined to heal myself by listening to what my body was telling me and what felt right or wrong for it and this meant refusing all common cancer treatments. Under no circumstances was I going to destroy the strong and healthy Immune System I had built up and nurtured for the previous decades. It made no sense to me and I knew that there were other, better, and gentler ways to starve the cancer cells to death. I needed to strengthen the healthy cells, even more, feed myself the ultimate (vegetarian) diet and keep up the daily meditative healing.
When an MRI revealed fractured upper vertebrae and multiple tumours of different sizes along the spine, shoulders and hips, I agreed to 10 rounds of radiation treatments in the upper thorax and sacral area, where it was most precarious at that point in time. I had to be very careful to avoid bone fractures, make only gentle movements and no lifting while dealing with dizziness and coordination issues, radiation poisoning and some severe, temporary side effects like a very painful inflammation of the throat and esophagus. I lost my appetite, couldn’t eat the hospital and hospice food, very quickly lost 12kg and basically maintained myself by eating a litre of gourmet ice cream every evening while watching movies. The medication had a bad effect on my brain function; soon I couldn’t think clearly or speak fluently, unable to find the right words, and my physical movements became slow and laboured. I felt frail and insecure on my feet and spent most of the time sitting in a recliner or laying on a bed.
Several months later, there was no improvement and I was referred to a hospice to get the end of life care. Prior to going into the hospice I organised and prepaid my funeral, gave away all my possessions, sold my car, and accepted without difficulty that the end of my life was close, which actually filled me with a sense of inner peace and a degree of excitement because I was very curious to experience life in spirit form. At the hospice, I was given more pain-controlling drugs and injections. I became disinterested in almost everything and spent hours thoughtless in front of the TV and slept up to 14 hours a day. When I still hadn’t died after three and a half months, I was discharged and sent back to the hospital where the whole range of examinations, blood tests, scans, ultrasounds, etc. was repeated, as the doctors needed an explanation why, given the state of my body, I was still alive. All tests showed good results and a new PET scan revealed that cancer had regressed by nearly 70 percent!! I was now classified as having ‘low-level cancer’ and was sent home with a huge brown paper bag filled with pills. But I no longer had a home, a car, or any basics, clothes, etc. Thankfully, some of my wonderful friends came to the rescue, put me up and lent me whatever I needed most urgently. The other alternative would have been an age care facility, a thought I found unbearable. I simply wasn’t ready for that.
The high quantities of herbal supplements, the daily spiritual healing work on myself, my innate unwavering positive attitude, and my faith in my own inner power – up until I was admitted to the hospice – showed an amazing success, were evidence that my efforts had worked. The bafflement of the medical professionals left them speechless and they were unable to offer any explanation. Sadly they also showed no interest in the details of my self-healing!!
When I looked at the content of the bag from the hospital chemist, I felt like vomiting and it was then that I realised that the medication made me sicker than cancer and I disposed of it all. It was a crazy thing to do because going cold turkey, without medical supervision, is very dangerous and the following days sent me to hell and back. I was badly addicted to morphine and my body was screaming and squirming. It wouldn’t let me eat or sleep. I was in a constant state of alertness, suffered a different kind of pain, and perspired excessively as my liver and kidney went into overdrive excreting a nauseating sweat and smell; add terrible leg cramps, nausea and headaches. My body shook with weakness. Thankfully, I no longer had any of those pharmaceutical products in the house because I am not sure I wouldn’t have reached for them just to get some relief. During this time I remembered that years ago I read a book called ‘Recovery From Addiction’ and that the same Chinese herbs I was eating were highly recommended to aid with the symptoms of withdrawal and the subsequent recovery. I ordered more and increased my intake, and since I was very familiar with and well informed about them, I was well aware that these herbs are nutritional, not medicinal herbs and one cannot ‘overdose’ on food. Their combination is based on the ancient Chinese ‘Philosophy of Regeneration’. We are what we eat and our bodies will perform in accordance with the quality of the food or ‘fuel’ we put into it. Sadly, the current food products do no longer offer the goodness and substance our bodies need, hence it is very important to supplement our diet. Unfortunately, those quality supplements are not found in health food stores, as they contain too many fillers to be of much benefit.
After two weeks I began to feel better and today, six weeks later, my body is free of all toxins. I take no pharmaceutical products at all and feel pretty good. Naturally, I will never stop my daily routine of meditating, cleansing my body inside-out with White Light, and keep living a very healthy lifestyle – physically, mentally and emotionally. My primary goals are to be cancer-free in another six to twelve months and create new goals and a new life … starting at zero.