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What Love Is Not

It’s true that we all need love. However, do we really know what love is?

Love is a word that has been written in poems, sung in many songs, talked about one way or another. And it is what some people long for, sometimes in form of a partner.

We tend to say be love, love is the answer, or be heart centered, send loving light, and so on.

We use it in casual conversations in our everyday lives. It has been seen as an illusion to all the world problems, all you need is love.

If that’s so easy, then why hasn’t any true change happened in our world today?

We still see people being oppressed, genocide, hungry, and wars being conducted in this world. Many people have died such as in the Middle East. Women, children, cultures, and societies dying from the hands of psychopathic leaders behind the war machine that really don’t care if you are holding peace signs and seeing love as a way the change the world.

Looking at this much closely, we can see that love is the most abused and missed understood word. We mistake gratification, sentimentality, duty, passion, desire, and other superficial concepts as love. In order to fill something that is lacking within us.

So, what is love? How can we define or describe such a word, such a powerful force. Words are limiting. Words can point to it and are not it.

We can start to examine what love is not.

When it comes to relationships we often seek control games, jealously and envy. Which are not love but expressions and behaviors based on fear and need? Love is related to emotions and feelings. And they are merely chemical reactions that happen in the brain that results in a high where people feed off each other.

Many relationships are based on this feeding mechanism which has nothing to do with love which is a parasitic need resulting in co-dependence.

Sexual attraction is also mistaken for love at times. Many people get into a relationship for the wrong reasons. For this reason they want to escape their loneliness, to fill a whole in their lives or feed off another person. For the most part this happens unconsciously. And people tend to lie to themselves about love and the relationships in many ways. Not seeing the other person as he or she is. And not seeing themselves as they truly are.

To truly love another person one must see how the person truly is without wanting the change them. That is the condition for unconditional love. But for this to happen, we must know our selves, see ourselves how we truly are. So we do not fall in the trap of illusionary projection which only results in disappointment and hurt once the romantic phase is over. It’s about acceptance and consideration being able to give and receive, to be eternally considerate, and not expect anything.

We need to be more heart centered, loving and compassionate; yes we all need to connect more to our heart, show empathy and compassion especially extending it to the whole world beyond our close friends and family. But what does it really mean?

Some people associate with emotions, feelings and niceness. Isn’t it more than that? Like a higher state of consciousness and being. We seem to mistake many things for love and even judge the intellect as bad.

Many suggest we must think with our heart and do what we feel like doing, which results in mere deception and lack of critical thinking. It’s about aligning the heart with the intellect, intuition with logic, and mysticism with science.

Then there is courtly love or fine Amor based on the higher centers. Which is the higher state of being that can only be accessed through sincere self-work, not to be given in by mechanical driven behaviors and choices. Essentially for true love between two people to manifest needs to be a connection and matching on all centers, physical, sexual, emotional intellectual and spiritual. We need to continually to work on ourselves to bring the centers into balance. So no one feeds off each other and both complement each other.

Love in its true sense means to see the world, oneself and others more objectively. From an esoteric perspective, it’s about evolving towards this objective love. In other words, when we are more objective with ourselves and the world, raising awareness, and see things as they are, the higher degree of love we can access.

Human Love as we know it has never liberated the world. It is Divine love that can accomplish that.

 

    “We’ve all met people who seem too sticky and gooey. They are “too nice” and sickeningly sweet. We sense that they are somehow being fake when we are around them and we feel we never really know them. They are, as the saying goes, “too good to be true.” These people are barricaded behind their mask or persona. They will deliberately avoid any kind of negative reaction or emotion. They refuse to be real and suffer the acceptance of their own dark side and this can be a dangerous thing.”

Rebecca Eigen

 

   “The Shadow describes the part of the psyche that an individual would rather not acknowledge. It contains the denied parts of the self. Since the self contains these aspects, they surface in one way or another. Brining Shadow material into consciousness drains its dark power, and can even recover valuable resources from it. The greatest power, however, comes from having accepted your shadow parts and integrated them as components of your Self. Everyone carries a Shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.”

“One does not become enlighten by imagining figures of light, but by making darkness conscious.”

Carl Jung

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