I have been working a lot lately on how to free my “inner child”. People have told me many times through out my life, “just relax or just have fun”. I really am sort of uptight and I have had many traumatic experiences other than childbirth that has created a lot of fear in my life.
Yes, I have accomplished a lot of spiritual growth, but I’m not perfect. And I will be the first to admit it. I still have some emotional trauma that I need to release and I am still working on figuring out how.
(Psychology) part of the psyche believed to retain feelings as they were experienced in childhood. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/inner+child
Our inner child is basically our childhood experiences. What did your inner child experience at a young age? Was there dysfunction in your family? How are your decisions and actions as an adult related to what your inner child has experienced?
I heard this last week, that if our inner child spirit is crying or balled up, then there are emotions within that need to be released and this will be done by healing parental relationships. I knew immediately that my inner child was balled up and crying in a corner. I wanted to know how to release her. I wanted her to play again and laugh and dance.
Inner child characteristics
You might feel you have one or more of the following inner child characteristics:
The Abandoned Child– feels very lonely, insecure and unwanted, and craves attention and safety; fears of abandonment accompany the adult person, even in marriage. Busy, divorced or separated parents are often the main reason for the child feeling unwanted and struggling with issues of abandonment.
The Neglected Child – shows itself in depressed, lonesome and withdrawn adults. Not having experienced much love and nurturing during childhood, the person doesn’t know how to express it, and believes that they are unworthy of being loved.
The Playful Child – an often forgotten, healthy part of the creative adult personality that knows how to have spontaneous fun, and is relatively free of guilt and anxiety.
The Spoiled Child – shows up as impatient adults that tend to throw temper tantrums when immediate gratification of needs and wants isn’t readily forthcoming.
The Fearful Child – needs to hear continuous affirmation and encouragement otherwise the adult is nearly always filled with anxiety and panic. As a child, the person received a lot of criticism from caregivers.
The Disconnected Child – manifests in the adult that cannot trust easily, and stays isolated and uninvolved; intimacy is a fearful and foreign experience, because the developing child never had the opportunity to learn what it means to be close to someone.
The Discounted Child –this child was treated as if they didn’t exist and was made to feel invisible and generally ignored; in adulthood, self-belief and positive valuation is virtually absent, and the adult needs consistent loving attention and support to feel validated.
So I decided to do a meditation with Blue Kyanite crystal (which I will explain more about under the Crystal Healing Tab). My question for the crystal was:
How do you free your inner child?
I was immediately shown a picture of my niece Khloe. She was looking at me with a big smile. It was so beautiful that I knew that she was saying “I love you Auntie” with just the expression on her face. If you knew this little girl you would know how happy she is. With no worry in the world.You would think that she has been untainted and over protected in life. In reality she has experienced ups and downs of emotional pain. Her father has PTSD with 2 traumatic brain injuries. She has seen the effects of drugs and alcohol. She has had to say good bye to her auntie, uncle and cousins, grandparents, and sister. We have all moved to different parts of the country. She has seen a lot of fighting and negativity like most of us.
Lets face it, we have all experienced some type of emotional trauma as a child whether we remember it or not. I don’t remember being in a home invasion where they pointed a gun to my face and told my sister that if she didn’t shut me up they would kill me. I have dealt with intense fears of my house being broken into and something bad happening.
I wondered how does she do it? How is she so sweet and loving? My vision also showed me how thankful and grateful for every little tiny experience or gift Khloe receives. If you give her a paper note, she loves it. She will cherish it. She is amazing and my inspiration. I love her to pieces! When she was a baby we were always there for her. My husband and I pretended she was our baby. We even got to name her. To this day she still calls my husband Uncle daddy. She loves him so much. I realized the most important part of healing is feeling the power of Gratefulness.
We all experience different types of trauma in our lives, and usually it starts as a little kids. We decide if we want to allow it to affect us and shape the rest of our lives. We are in control of our own lives, so if we are searching for happiness, then we need to start making conscious decisions to be happy. Acknowledge the hurt and pain you experienced. Give the emotion validation. If it brings up emotions then feel it. Anger, sadness, loneliness… Feel it! Then be grateful for every experience that people have brought your way. Whether it is good or bad. What did you learn from it? Take away that lesson and release the negative of that experience and move on from it.
The beautiful Khloe
“The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, says Thich Nhat Hanh, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain will transform negative emotions.”